Monday, August 16, 2010

I've Been Set Free

Brad and I started a married couples' night at our home last December. I felt like God gave me an outline of what it should look like and we went for it.

It has been amazing. We have a time of worship, a time of fellowship and then a time of prayer. Each month our married couples' night is obviously led by the Holy Spirit.

So, what do you do when you're not really speaking to your spouse and when you are it's not very nice? How do you invite other married couples to your home when the tension is so thick you could slice it with a plastic knife? What do you say to them?

This was us this month. I didn't consider canceling but I was concerned about what to say. I talked about a few things with the Lord and decided honesty was best. Thankfully, I had a moment of breakdown and actually felt like I liked Brad just before our friends started to arrive.

After great worship I shared how Brad and I have been struggling. I know part of it is the enemy - we are, after all, leading a married couples' night - but I don't want to blame it all on him. Life is just hard and I'm tired of it being hard. I'm tired of struggling. I thought after 15 years we shouldn't be struggling anymore. This spurred on the greatest conversation between all of the married couples. The night was full of encouragement and honesty and love. It was truly filled with the Holy Spirit. I think the greatest realization I had was that I was deceived in believing couples struggle, learn, and move on. I really thought at some point we shouldn't be struggling and there was something wrong with me and Brad because we keep struggling. With about 62 married years between all the couples present the evidence says we never stop struggling as a married couple. That was freeing for me.

At the end of the evening I believe everyone felt energized in their marriages and ready to take on the world. I know I did. In fact, I still feel excited about being married to Brad Johnson.

When you can, come join us. We meet the 2nd Friday of every month at 7pm at our house.

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